A Summary of What I Learned in 1L Year

Non-Legal Advice for 1Ls

1) Don't walk behind a tail-flicking horse. You can dislocate your retina. - Pat Brady v. R & R Stables, Legal Rhetoric

2) Playboy is classier than Penthouse - Keeton v. Hustler, Civil Procedure

3) The answer to is everything is "It depends." or "Possibly." - first day of classes

4) Sleeping Beauty can bring a tort of battery, and not assault, against Prince Charming for kissing her in her sleep (which is creepy if you think about it, a stranger kissing you while you're asleep). - Second Day of Torts

5) If a cat is given LSD, then the cat becomes CATatonic. – Torts

6) Being grounded usually doesn’t constitute false imprisonment. Apparently parents have some parental immunity. - Torts

7) The abbreviation for association is ass’n. – Torts

8) “Is it duress if someone threatens to chop off the pinky of your baby’s toe?” (The answer is yes.) - Torts

9) Money makes the world go round, so does torts. -Torts

10) Turnip Rule: You can't squeeze blood from a turnip. - Torts

11) You could probably get away with assaulting someone from behind. But battery is whole another story. - Torts

12) Wearing a short dress is not consent to be assaulted. - CREAC Workshop

13) Jack from Jack and The Beanstalk can be held liable for trespass to land, home invasion, murder. - CREAC Workshop

14) When your neighbor tells you that your fermenting hayrick will spontaneously combust, don’t tell that neighbor you’ll chance it.

15) Don’t suffer through law school just to die in as a drunk in a car accident. - Daly v. General Motors Company